10 years ago around the beginning of July my life had
completely changed. I had survived a near-death experience and I ended up
requiring mechanical ventilation ever since. On this 10 year anniversary I
thought to myself that I was happy to be alive and inside I was celebrating
life. However I did not know what would happen until the day I always feared
would occur, happened on July 10, 2014.
Instead of celebrating life I would end up mourning the
death of my older brother Adam Cole. Like myself, Adam was diagnosed with Duchenne
muscular dystrophy. Since he was older he dealt with the progression of the
disability before me. I would see him progress and I would know I would follow
that same path. So I looked up to him as a role model when I was young. We both
shared many of the same struggles, in some ways we also differed in
progression.
Adam was the type of person that would show no fear and
would give it no quarter. He could be one of the most caring people for others
and at times he could be a bit awrny and only want things his way. Yet when it
came down to the nitty-gritty he would take a bullet for anyone that he loved.
Adam had the ability to watch others do things and by watching them he would
live that moment as if he were the one doing whatever it was. His sense of
humor leans towards one-liners, witty comments, and pulling pranks on others.
Adam was an avid gamer all throughout life and was also a
lover of movies and television. He also had a major love for watching wrestling
from the first time he ever saw it until his very last days. We shared many of
these hobbies when we were younger and would soon find our own niche and I
would play and watch different things then he would. Which as we became older I
think we both felt a bit of shame that we did not enjoy each others company as
much even though we were so close and always around each other. Yet we did have
many good times together, whether it was going to a Metallica concert or just
drinking together and talking shit about each other in fun. Sometimes out of
anger, but that is a thing all siblings do.
Adam was a true inspiration to me not because he dealt with
the cards that he was dealt. What he inspired in me was the will to figure
things out and find a different way to do things with the cards that we were
both dealt. At a very young age was when this occurred by watching him make
adjustments as he got weaker and I was still ambulatory. The thing for me was
the things that he did and not the things that he just had to deal with.
The last few years Adam has gone through a hell of sorts by
struggling with the fact he would have to give up one of the things he loved
and gotten much pleasure from. He would have to give up eating food and it was
something he completely struggled with. Throughout my own life I have learned
to be straightforward about things and just deal with it, while Adam was going
through the struggle of not being able to eat I could be a bit harsh and tell
him to just deal with it. I also did this because I know the younger Adam would
have done it with no remorse and show the most strength when it was at its
lowest.
Adam is more than a brother to me, sometimes he was a role
model and in other cases a teacher whether he knew it or not. Due to the fact
we dealt with many of the same adversities we had things we dealt with that
other siblings might not have ever experienced. Yes sometimes I thought he was
a absolute pain in my ass on occasion but I still always looked up to him and I
always will. Before his 33rd birthday he was in critical condition and there
was concern he might not make it. He pulled through however and came home and
it was nice to celebrate another year with him. I just wish I could've known it
would be his last, I would have found a way to make sure he had the best time
he ever had. Although he would still say that MDA camp was the time of his life
knowing him.
